Forbidden routes n fruit

As this years Forbidden Fruit 2012 comes ever closer, it hasnt caught up with the actual bus & indeed Network Direct. From their own website on how to get there ( or not ).....

51B/78A from Aston Quay

Alas both routes have been swept away by progress & merged into cross city super routes 13 & 40, so it looks as if its just a copy n paste from last years event, even the car friendly AA website has got caught up in the copying, issuing the same dud info,

Not just forbodden fruit, but also some other types of forbidden routes, as the festival is on the same Bank Holiday weekend as Formula One comes to the streets, closing off some of the streets, including the pick up point, less just hope its not sour grapes.

Flying off the deep end

Introducing the Space Explorer,
Two weeks in the sun, while your car basks at Costa Dublin Airport for 50 quid.
In the old days of Celtic Tiger fantasy land we did it, didn't we & there wasn't a special offer either, it was usually 7 for the day, by two weeks, a whopping 98 euros for the baby sitting service, just so we could drive there & back, sure the convenience & trying to justify it based on a taxi driver ripping you off.
Now with Space Explorer & indeed the competitors DAA have a similar bargain basement scheme, its down to a more crispy 50 euro note, but that's still allot of euros.
No doubt the car parks are feeling the squeeze as more people jet off, while parking up in the driveway.
Book now, limited places.

seek shelter this way

From one museum to another, this " former " bus shelter has found a new lease of life directing lost tourists in search of the GAA Museum at Croke Park. While the magnificent stadium towers over the whole of Ballybough, its many entrances & exits are spread around the four corners, even daunting for cheering crowds on match day, so this poster attached to the old route 51A bus shelter on Clonliffe Road gives some sense of direction.

On top of the situation

A modern Irish bus shelter & not your old style conservatism " down with that sort of thing " either.

First we have the Abominable Snowman humping a poor shopper & then our 18 to 22 year old ( sorry, if your not, don't hate ) domineering her first shag, I mean boyfriend, well the tv ad got me all excited, explaining the virtues of turning 18, heading out to town, grabbing & bedding, well that's what conquering is all about according to mobile phone companies.
So its either soup of the day or just skipping starters & having your fillet steak well done.

Corporate Communications are so critical to most companies these days, its all about spin & not being spun, especially when it comes to the Internet. In a single tweeting, company medals can become company mud.
Spare a thought for the press release from Malev Airlines which sadly was grounded yesterday due to cash flow problems. The cash flow problems grounded the fleet as well as the ability to hire somebody who could translate the Hungarian into the English language, the esteemed leader of Malev will live to regret opening his mouth.
Taken from the Malev website, but be warned, its more double Dutch than anything else......


"Unfortunately, the patterns, making the best kept and which have worked hard to avoid. Although in recent days there was still hope for the continuation of operations, and passenger confidence was undiminished, but in recent days appeared to cause the information provider partners lost confidence, and from one day to another, began to ask for advance payment of the services they provide. This cash outflow is accelerated to such an extent that the airline is now untenable situation. Is also known that the owner, despite the best intentions, the EU condemned the decision of not able to provide additional financial resources to operate. Against this background, the Board decided to order the Hungarian national airline to end its proper functioning. All utasunktól apologize. " - saidLimburger on Lorant CEO.


At least the first word was correct...." unfortunately "

a serial disaster

Earlier celebrations about the latest craze of " mega squares " on the streets of Dublin have been shredded with the latest brand to go big on four corners. Its that time of year when trusty favourites take centre stage in the advertising cycle, jostling for position with anti smoking, cold killers & the diet products with the ladies favourite....Special K.

Alas the mega square version is like a chopped pepper or butchered heart if you want to be gruesome, that red frock doesn't fit very snugly into the new square marvel & with her hands chopped off, its more like a biology class rather than a breakfast bowl, its actually quite horrific the more you stare at this blood soaked babe.

Kellogg's have been getting out of the bed on the wrong side lately, from product recalls & quality controls to distribution disasters & sadly the mega square is a diet gone too far.

Dare to wear red, or just red faced.

Leap n weap

It was a LEAP at the bus driver today as the hard pressed Dublin citizens paid their shillings to get to B from A, some had already done their homework with the green gizmo leap card to avoid the punitive increases.
Still, one bird that really isn't worried about the NTA approved wedgies is our lovely Rachel Allen, that kitchen goddess who can roll out the pasty with his luscious lips while beating an eggs into a frothy flirt. Rachel, who we have come to role model as our mother hen chef was also leaping about recently, well, in her Audi A7, 11 D of course, no skimping with the flour here, doing her bit shooting a few birdie, proudly displayed on the bonnet. It seems Audi are none too pleased with the unpleasant pheasant advertising, nor the thousands of Rachel fans glued to her cookery books.
So if you fancy plucking Rachel's feathers, she's plenty of space in the A7 should you wish to abandon Dublin Bus & slum it cross-country style with the snazzy alloys.
Wax jacket & loaded gun indeed are essential travel accessories, no need for a leap card, a stuffed bird in the oven at 200 degrees instead.
Nice one Rachel.

( photo courtesy independent.ie )

why did I overtake

Expect the unexpected, what about to happen is not exactly what you were thinking....

Calm down

The Nook & Mr Dunnes sweet shop may have packed up on North Frederick Street, but there's a new resident on the street & its just managed to squeeze in.
Our city forefathers never cease to amaze their Dublin citizens & the latest is something bound to slow you down, especially if your on public transport.
Some time ago, car traffic was banned from entering North Frederick Street, allowing the convoys of city & rural buses flow quite nicely down towards O'Connell Street & surprisingly  was only flouted by the odd motorist, usually of culchie car registration, so blind eyes were turned.
Alas, the bonanza was not meant to last, for this is a recession, we need to tighten our belts & indeed our buses need to breath in, for this wonderful engineering marvel is slapped right at the top of North Frederick Street to impede the progress of commuters into the city with this insane traffic calming station, demanding all vehicles slow down to 30 km, they'll be lucky as it takes quite allot of dexterity & skill to shimmy past the concrete islands, meanwhile, huge creators in the road surface before & after the device are left unfixed.
Who comes up with these ridiculous & costly " improvements " that only snarl our already slow motion passage through the City Centre.
Calm down.

Gobh mo leithscéal

Its arrived, well it was always coming, just like your bus, due, due, due

After a hastily added paragraph on the nta website, the Irish version of your bus was finally added to the orange glowing poles in late December, so the opportunity to blah blah blog about them couldn't be let go by.
Not just will your Irish bus now countdown, but every customer will be educated, in that due is " am " as Gaeilge, I never knew that, you learn something everyday. The bus will be am, I am, I am due.
More satirically, one further addition has been added to these orange marvels. At first, uneducated customers still reeling from the cupla focal  may believe that there bus is fitted with a toilet, for a new symbol resembling a customer sitting on an armitage shanks is added just before the due minute/  noimead, in reality its a wheelchair symbol.
All we need now is the nanny state messages about crossing the road etc, which scroll along the lower line to start finger pointing in the native tongue - ar aghaidh leat !!!

On yer bike

Found this new video pedaling its way on YouTube.
Its all so happy go carefree cycling on the new cycle track along the canal, entitled " instructional video " for cyclists, featuring the first traffic light system especially for bikes along the route.
Its all so well choreographed, with the bike stopping at the white line, waiting for the pedestrians to cross the track & then the little green man, opps, I mean little green bike giving the all clear to the law biding peddler. Ah, its even on one of those Dublin Bikes, the ones you see in town, usually tearing down a one way street, or on your nearest footpath, you know the type., with some crazed mad thing pedalling like fook & still going nowhere, with his 3 speed ATB.
The makers are obviously in cuckoo land & should really have used the word " aspirational " in the video somewhere because it ain't going to happen in Dublin's fair city, where the bikes are so......
( even in the snapshot above, yer man on the wrong side of his funky new cycle track ), ya just love the stupidity of the whole concept.
I'm seeing a RED light.

a square thats just mega

Cue the drum roll & gasps from the audience.
The mega-square has arrived, well officially that is.
Memories of these" square " sided advertisements cast back to the ill fated AerDart service but the latest tweaking has really taken off since Johnny English got plastered to the side of a Dublin Bus Enviro500 in October last. With the extra splash area on the gigantic Enviro500 on either sides, married with the adframe, this ad type is going down a sensation with the ad agency Bravo really pleased with the outcome, sadly the return of the overall wrap as trialled with HB ice cream melted away, big budget long term campaigns are not financially digestible in the current " melting " climate.
So far following Johnny, Nikon, Aviva & Vodafone are sticking to the new ad innovation.

spelling disruption

After record numbers ran the big race in the Capital yesterday, it seems Dublin wasn't the only place to have service disruptions, it seems to have been a Marathon in Dulin as well, where ever that was. In summary, the wonderful orange glowing signs were giving mixed messages yesterday, either being switched off entirely or not even getting the capital city spelt correctly.

While we are all guilty of the off spelling mistake, simply turning off individual signs was unforgivable along routes, which were affected or not.

These displays can provide any amount of pre determined information, like diversions, specific route changes & times but the turning off was a real time mistake, not everybody, particularly the older generation so dependent on the local bus have access to the WWW.

So much for real time information.....

a new surface

Have you noticed your local strasse all bumpy & lumpy lately, as the sounds of scraping & smells of tarmac echo in the late hours around the capital as the city forefathers spend this years roads budget as the fiscal year deadline looms.

All cats eyes are motoring down to the North Wall Quay which is receiving some attention as the road gets a new layer. Its more the white lines that will be applied that will make this cosmetic makeover more interesting, as this stretch from The Point Depot to The Custom House was promised a lana bus for many years now, the morning & evening commute for bus passengers frustrated by endless queues of stopping & starting in the melee, coupled with the carte blanche free car parking alongside the whole way up the river.

So with some line painting in progress, who will get the lions share of the road space......

Whats your number

Well done to Hollywood for launching their latest blockbuster movie " whats your number " starring Chris Evans & Anna Faris the same week as the real time passenger information went live on the Dublin Bus website. This week saw the plastering of " please take my number " on every bus pole within the network, well a slight exaggeration, nearly every one, the man in the van was a busy man in his van, highlighting that by punching in your bus stop number, up pops the arrival time of " your " next bus.

An interesting aside to this marketing campaign is the use of the word " your " to make the relationship between the passenger & bus more intimate, after all, its " your " bus from A to B, its not just a bus for everyone, its for you.

A useful pole at last

Poles & signs, the city is full of them, but at least some are more useful than others.

A stroll, slow it was, following a wave of tourists, probably ashore from the visiting Marco Polo circus in town, a very upward revealed a really impressive orange glow of information, well impressive if you were waiting on a bus.

The sign to the right " 10 years after a war on terror ", no thanks, lets have a war on " information " like some weapons of mass information.

Those idle chrome poles have been gradually fitted with swanky signs now glowing bright & brim with when the new bus is coming. There have been some complaints that the word " due " seems to hang on like an overhead rain cloud, but at least its something on the horizon. The man with the van seems to have been busy on Nassau Street, as the above photo shows, no less than four trees of knowledge shining a beacon of hope down on the weary passenger.

Fully charged

After a flat few months, heavenly hybrid is back on the streets of Dublin.

Well everyone is entitled to summer holidays & the lean green machine has been seriously " as seirbhis " until the W man & a new battery pack were installed in this techno marvel in late July followed by some drive trials which extended as far as Bray.

The loss of the 20B will now keep her only on the 16 group, gone are the peak scares to Beaumont so fleeting glances on " the cross " route will be the only glimpse.

Sorry, should we ?

Eagle eyed will have noticed the new look displays on some Dublin buses, namely from Broadstone, Phibsboro & Summerhill buses with their " Sorry - not in service ".

Should there be such an apology for something that's not in service in the first place ? Does Tesco apologise when a potato is growing in a field & not on its supermarket shelf, does RTE say sorry when you switch on the TV at 10 pm & there's no 9 o'clock news. Just because a bus is running along the road with no passengers doesn't mean you have to pardon yourself, do you ?

The inspiration has probably come from our nearby operators over the water, yet at the same time Transport for London took the view that " sorry " should not be slapped on their mandatory dayglow scrolls, for there was nothing to be apologising for.

So sorry for this blog, really sorry, sorry, sorry sorry.

Conventional 747

Like mushrooms, some new Dublin Bus stops have been popping up along the quays as the revamped Airport Express 747 takes to the streets on Sunday next. I nearly typed Airlink, but the latest marketing suggests the route is to be called Airport Express, the original brand when it was launched with the KC's way way back in time.

From new stops to snazzy add on side panels, the route becomes more taxi & less express when it reaches the Pale, with more stops n starts, designed to drop n pick at the various hotels, just like ....Hotel Link, now where's the old 61A timetable gone.

The biggest improvement of the revamp will see the 747 travel along the Dame Street corridor with its numerous Temple Bar hotels along the side streets, Airport sweeper perhaps.

Alas the number 748 will be engulfed into the new 747, but lets face it the number 748 was always slightly annoying, having no association with a Boeing plane.

Times are tough & air fares even tougher still, less people are flying these days, two routes were really duplicating themselves, so something had to give. All eyes are now on Aircoach, the sight of tri-axle coaches, also duplicating themselves & empty leather seating cannot be sustainable.

Its time to tighten the belt, or at least fasten it before take off.

Turning over a new leaf

As Dualway still reels from the fire that swept through its fleet less than two weeks ago, a positive note, this time their livery turning that little bit greener, not for the environment, but the colours themselves.
The shamrock logo on the offside has transformed from into a fully sprouting green, discarding the half red effort, its quite subtle, but a welcome improvement.
As time goes on, it seems by a process of elimination that the multi lingual fleet of East Lancs/ Darwin double deckers bore the brunt of the fire, with five of the open toppers being destroyed along with other vehicles.

Tickety Boo

Just as we mourned the loss of the ticket bus, along comes this little blue number for the weekend clash between Leinster & Toulouse - fantastique !!!
This ticketmaster box office van wasn't so busy prior to the match, but then again, this is Ireland, everything & everybody until the last minute.
Memories of the original ticket buses to hit the streets in the wee hours, when some KC type single deckers had some of their nearside windows modified to flip up emergency exits, then a perspex plate was fitted over the window area to form a hatch, it was an inspired & indeed cheap solution. Along came the minibus, the ticket sales bus as they were known, another inspired idea was to turn the slider windows on their head, allowing the air vent to now become the hatch, thus providing enough space for the cash & tickets to exchange, while providing cover & security for the man in the van. The mark III version was to be the conversion of some withdrawn WV class midibuses, while a tad overkill for such a limited nightly role, then came the seizure of the economy & indeed the queues of nitelinkers.
It seems are O2 vans will carry on the mantle for the moment, " would you like a flake in that ? "